Friday, January 16, 2009

Countdown: Four Days until Inauguration

DEKE SPEAKS again! She may not have much to say, but she is determined to keep saying it. Besides, after listening to President Terra give a nationally televised fear speech tonight, Deke feels, as strongly as she has ever felt about anything, that Dub crawling away from the White House will be his finest presidential moment. Tonight's list of accomplishments, delivered directly into your living room by Dub himself, rang as hollow as his promise to smoke Bin Laden out "dead or alive". Dub is oblivious to the dripping irony of everything he says. "Afghanistan is a young democracy and Iraq is an Arab democracy" ... right, democracies with no freedom to exercise democratic rights. "When people live in freedom, they do not choose leaders who engage in terrorist violence" ... yeah Dub, that's why Hamas was elected. "We must reject protectionism" ... code for free trade because the looming depression/financial meltdown has not dampened Dub's friedman fanaticism. He is proud of "faith based programs for the addicted and hopeless" ... Deke confesses confusion about this statement but notes it was strongly delivered with typical Dub bravado, challenging us to prove him wrong. He is also proud of appointing "wise leaders like Justices Alito and Roberts" ... OK, by that point in his farewell speech, Dub was just rubbing it in, gleeful about leaving a sulphurous imprint on justice that we will all be enduring over the next few decades. He then bid us farewell as "a citizen of the United States of America". Deke is wondering under what circumstances his citizenship could be revoked.

Since we are now 4 days away from inauguration. Deke will continue her list, with 4 things she is pretty sure she won't have to endure in an Obama administration:

1. Referring to the U.S. Constitution as a "god damned piece of paper". Yes, the man who used his thesaurus at Andover to come up with a description of the "lacerations running down my face" upon learning of the death of his sister .... that same man thinks the document that forms the basis of our country, a constitution admired and emulated the world over, is just a "god damned piece of paper". Deke cannot imagine Obama, as a former Professor of Constitutional Law, EVER making such a reference.

2. Tax Cuts for the Wealthy .... or as Deke likes to put it, Warfare on the Middle Class. Tired of being used as the milk-cow for the whole country, the once vast middle class of america is drying up. Time for the top 5% to get back in the game. They've had such a free ride under Dub, they seem to have forgotten the middle class is all that stands between them and mere anarchy. Deke may be dumb about money, but she knows when her purse is empty and is pretty sure Obamanomics will be sunseting that vicious Bush voodoo.

3. Scienceless Science. Can we please keep "Intelligent Design" and "Creation Science" at home on the bookshelf with other myths and legends? This type of bad science is no science at all. There really is such a thing as scientific theory, with hypotheses that are constantly tested and revised as new data is analyzed. Something that has to be taken on faith does not belong in science class. Deke believes scienceless science is what makes people so reluctant to recognize important issues, such as global warming. It is a real disservice to use the FOX method of science, i.e., to line up one member of the lunatic pseudo science fringe against one member of the 99% of other scientists, and act like both views deserve equal time. What a relief to see REAL SCIENTISTS on Obama's team!

4. Non-Alcoholic Drinks. Have you ever tasted one of these things? The fact that we've had a dry drunk in the White House for 8-years has made these bottled carbonated urine drinks, like O'Doul's, unavoidable. Seeing Dub clinking his O'Doul's against other heads of state's legitimate alcohol drinks looks like someone who makes a solemn promise, on their so-help-me-heart, while secretly crossing their fingers behind their back. Deke is looking forward to seeing the Obamas cheerfully toasting with real wine in a real wine glass!

So that's today's list. Deke's first 5 items were posted yesterday ( Countdown: Five Days until Inauguration ). You might notice a bent toward listing Dub's personal quirks. Well, you've been warned not to expect brillance from Deke. She does note that you can Obamiconize yourself at pastemagazine.


Utah Savage said...

Not only is Deke back she's sassy. I love this color mix. Funny that I looked at the one done by Darkblack and saw a younger woman, that I believed to be the real Darkblack and not me at all. I might have to start making a little effort now and then. Now I'm in love with Darkblack.

Wasn't this evenings last gasp but they shrub pathetic? I can't help but watch the coverage by Rachel and Keith over and over. Chimpy's sure getting a drubbing. I'd be surprised if he doesn't get hit by a shoe or two before he flies away.

D.K. Raed said...

When D.K.'s brain is consumed with taxeshite, Deke has to take over everything else. She may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but she knows how to stab. Watching Dub give his farewell to us peons sent her into the kitchen to take out her frustrations on some poor veggies that needed chopping for a ratatouille.

I loved the way Darkblack "painted" your Obamicon! It really is the red, ivory and blue version of yourself! Deke wishes she could figure out how to temporarily change an avatar, but she is really such a lazy girl, it's easier for her to keep her anger unfocused.