Wednesday, January 2, 2008

New Years Day, laugh or cry?

Fair warning: we all know by now that my poetry sucks. And for some reason, on New Years Day, it falls below even the suck standard. Save yourselves. Scroll through to the vids at the end. Please!

First, a D.K. "mini-limerick":
We have a big date
in Two Thousand Eight,
Early November,
Time to remember
It's never too late!

Thought that was bad?
Well then, try "D.K. Nostradamus":

We anticipate
Two Thousand Eight.
For a year sublime,
Try Two Thousand Nine.
For mid-term men,
Think Twenty-Ten.
Equality for all in
Year Twenty-Eleven.
World peace dwells
in Two Thousand Twelve!

Whew! Don't you wish you had the last minute of your life back?

File the following under "Laugh": Have you been missing the late night talk shows due to the writers' strike? I love David Letterman's Great Moments in Presidential Speeches. Here's a wonderful compilation guaranteed to leave you scratching your head about the current occupier of The White House (under 5-minutes):

Jeez Loueez, that didn't even include his famous definition of "tribal sovereignty" or obsession over "slicing the pig" with Angela Merkel or any of his thoughts on avoiding WWIII. Power-drunk or plain stupid, this guy can't get OUT of my life too soon!

OK, finally, file the next vid under "Cry": Scary Bush Speech ... you decide if we are getting a preview of things to come or merely experiencing a Twilight Zone moment (1.5 minutes):


Anonymous said...

When we think about Bush 'The Decider'
Of his war and his lies we do tire.
But the upside is he
And the deaf G.O.P.
Will go down when his term does expire.

Happy New Year D.K.!

pissed off patricia said...

Yikes, I just had a snack, I better not watch these without a barf bag near by.

D.K. Raed said...

It's so nice when a REAL poet drops (er, hops) by. Hope the New Year is filled with amphib delights!

I should've put up a barf bag required warning! Or a "Caution: not to be viewed near comestibles". Of course, that also applies to my ersatz-poetry.

DivaJood said...

Donald Duck for President.

Cartledge said...

d.k. don't be intimidated by the frog! Mind you, I think we could collect his scribblings and market him as the new sage.
I'm not sure if limericks work if they aren't smutty :)

D.K. Raed said...

as long as we're talking Unca Donald, not rummie! Although Scrooge McDuck IS reminiscent of Cheney.

"Froggie Scribblings" would be a great book title! now on that limerick theme, ummm, obviously you've been to nantucket ...

Cartledge said...

Frogs with big heads aren't a good look, but then kvatch is wonderfully shameless.
'There once was a man from Nantucket' - No I haven't been to Nantucket, but the Australian equivalent where only the best smut was dished out. Not that I was ever an aficionado of smut of course.

Fran said...

The first clips would be funny, if it were not for the fact we have to put up with this joker as the "leader of our country"-- the 2nd montage is just going to give me nightmares, I'm sure. Creepy..... Ewww.

D.K. Raed said...

so what is the australian equivalent of nantucket? I ask this in an intellectual way, thinking you must have a locale with a funny name for off-color rhyming. I googled australian limericks & saw a lot of outhouse-type rhymes.

Sorry about the nightmares. It creeped me out, too. But I thought, what better way to calm the spinechills than to share it? As for the Presidential Moments, I never fail to be amazed at the inarticulateness of this so-called leader. I should be immune to his routine by now, but so help me, my jaw still drops. Letterman starts back up tonight. Hope he has some updates to add.

Cartledge said...

d.k. I guess I meant in the sense of old time and slightly offbeat. That would be Tasmania, a maritime state with a strong residual English tradition. Language use and humour tend to the archaic. The Lure of the Limerick was a popular book there, full of wonderful old English and New England examples. A real treat for a developing young mind, but I was always struck there by how easily any subject could launch people into a sort of appropriate, if off colour offering.
Mind you, my favourite was:
There was a young lady from Niger
Who smiled as she rode on a tiger.
They returned from the ride
With the lady inside,
And a smile on the face of the tiger.

D.K. Raed said...

Cartledge, that was a favorite of mine too, growing up! There's a similar children's song (not a limerick):

Oh, She sailed away on a sunny summer day
On the back of a crocodile.
"You see," said she, "he's as tame as tame can be,
I'll ride him down the Nile."

Now, the croc winked his eye as she bade them all goodbye,
Wearing a happy smile.
At the end of the ride, the lady was inside,
And the smile was on the crocodile!

Cartledge said...

d.k., I like that. Thought I knew all the crocodile rhymes, but that one escaped. TY

TomCat said...

You're poetry is not bad at all, DK. Bush, on the other hand is the worst in history.

enigma4ever said...

now this is really strange...I posted a comment..and it is not here ;-(

Oh well...anyways I said that your poetry was not bad at all...and gosh compared to King George...lordy...
never be afraid to write poetry- there is not any bad poetry.....( easy to say after watching Bush speak....)

Nona said...

This might not be the appropriate place to celebrate but I LOVE IOWA! They had the good sense to choose Obama over Clinton.

I'm doing a happy dance!

D.K. Raed said...

Cartledge: you are lucky you only had to read that children's song & not be assailed by my singing it! ps, can we export our alligators to you?

Tomcat and Engima:
ouch, that hurt, the Bush Bar being so low. Guess I won't be doing any prezzy speechifying.

Nona: there is no bad place to celebrate the overwhelming victory in Iowa. Obama may have been my 2nd choice, but I salute him! My favorite headine today: "EDWAMA wins in Iowa!"

Cartledge said...

d.k. You have already exported your agitators to us. George W did a great job in that regard.
Oh, alligators, sorry - I'm not sure we'd be interested in anything so difficult to rhyme when we can have fun not smiling at crocodiles.
Mind you, you did have someone on your side of the creek talking about alligators eating his granny. Maybe the trick is to move them from the rhyming position :)

D.K. Raed said...

surely aussies MUST use this little phrase ...
"See 'ya later, Alligator."
To which the proper response is:
"After awhile, Crocodile."
(ps, sorry 'bout the agitators, they are hard to get rid of, we are trying to do that ourselves now) ...

Cartledge said...

Being an old rock n roller I surely do recall the saying. More likely to hear 'see you round like a rissole' here.
Funny, I watched a doco on Buddy Holly last night and was hankering for some Bill Haley et al to go with it :)

Cartledge said...

My daughter, now a Boston matron, used to sport her ‘Hasta La Victoria Sempre’ tee shirt rather proudly. She adopted the ‘Hasta La vista caiman’ in preference to the rock ‘n roll tag. My kids always worked hard to intimidate me, but I thought caiman better for a rhyming scheme.

D.K. Raed said...

aaah, Cartledge, ever seen the Holly movie with Gary Busey? I swear, Busey BECAME Buddy! I like the "caiman", but still prefer the original CHE sentiment. Besides aren't caimans the little fairly harmless crocs? now, I have NO clue what a 'rissole' is ... something round, obviously.

Cartledge said...

First up d.k. my brother who runs an offbeat education resource site – – is swapping the following for your wonderful croc rhyme.
A thousand hungry crocodiles
Swimming 'round for lunch.
Gobble, gobble,
Glump, Glump,
Munch, munch, munch.

Second, a rissole of a sort of hamburger that hasn’t been squashed flat, actually they don’t need to be ground and can be made from other mixtures. Good tucker, especially with a serving of mash taters and veg and an appropriate gravy or sauce. Starting to sound like TMI…

Larry said...

Frankly I'd rather read your poetry than watch a clip of the idiot.

D.K. Raed said...

Cartledge: so that's how it works, it's a swap? and I thought it was turkeys that gobbled? oh wait, suddenly I think I should be applying croc repellant. or lure them off with 1,000 rissoles (which sound like large tasty meatballs to me). hope you have fast-food McRissoles to help out those under croc attack!

Larry: FINALLY!!! A person who understands that the idiot clips were necessary in order to make my poetry palatable. I did provide fair warning, though, you have to give me that.

Cartledge said...

Oh dear, there is no fooling a wise redhead. Well, that is how the sausage rolls, as they say.