Click here for the full page NYT news you WISH was true. The whole thing is a spoof, brought to you by The Yes Men.
July 4, 2009 NYT Edition: "All the News We Hope to Print" ...
Iraq War Ends (troops to return immediately)!
Maximum Wage Law Passed (limiting top salaries to 15 times the minimum wage)!
USA Patriot Act Repealed (a shame-faced congress confesses they only just realized they had the power to do this)!
Evangelicals Open Their Homes to Refugees (limited to the first million Iraqi citizens to qualify, or one-half of the estimated number, whichever is less)!
Ex-Secretary Apologizes for W.M.D. Scare (Condi, not Rummie of course, wants us to rest assured that if there had been even the slightest intelligence that Saddam had real W.M.D. to use against our troops, the Bush Administration would never have sent hundreds of thousands of them to invade Iraq)!
Nationalized Oil to Fund Climate Change Efforts (placing ExxonMobil, Chevron Texaco and other major oil companies under public stewardship, profits to go in a public trust administered by the United Nations, to be used for alternative energy research and development in order to solve the global climate crisis)!
*****DK Note: the above fake July 4th NYT was distributed on the streets of New York this morning. apparently New Yorkers realized immediately that it was a hoax and began using them to wrap day-old fish for garbage pick-up. a few of the less smelly papers have been retrieved as collector's items to be placed in the National Museum of Hope, which due to lack of urban public interest, expects to soon become another rural roadside oddity along with the 2-headed snakes and 6-legged chicken attractions tempting those few brave tourists who venture off the Disney Summer Vacation Trail.*****
And in other news that I first thought was another fake-out, but has been revealed as the ultimate Friday news dump, Sarah Palin has announced her resignation as Governor of Alaska. While I feel happy for the people in Alaska, I do confess to some fear for the caribou, wolves, polar bears and other Alaskan wildlife now that Ms Aerial Huntress will soon find herself with more free time on her hands.What do you think she's up to? A phony Fox consultancy, or something more ambitious? BTW, that is a fake flag-bikini'd Palin photo, but it goes so perfectly with her announcement on this eve of July 4th, I couldn't resist.
Read: Paul Begala was reminded of a famous Hunter Thompson quote in his analysis of Palin's rambling and infantile mind.
Have a safe and happy July 4th, everyone!
