Thursday, July 24, 2008
Close Encounters of the Third Term
*** There is a line I like in Close Encounters of the Third Kind. It's when the government has put out the phoney story of airborne poison in order to keep people away from the scene of anticipated alien contact. Even though they are all dressed in hazmat suits, Richard Dreyfuss doesn't believe them. He rips off his gas mask and defiantly states, "the only bad air here is you guys farting around".
By any measure, this has not been a good month for McCrusty in his quest for the presidency. His gaffes are becoming legendary. But gaffes can have a funny quality, and there is nothing funny in what McC's gaffes are revealing. His latest supersurgifragilistic explanation is ... atrocious! It's like he thinks no one remembers the sequence of events in the latter half of 2006. Gee, Johnny, it wasn't that long ago....
In November 2006, we had what's known as a mid-term election, wherein the overriding message from the voters was GET OUT OF IRAQ. This so threw President Bush offbalance that he immediately got rid of Defensive Secretary Rumsfeld. He publically humiliated KKKarl and busied himself with various other household chores (like sending Scotty on down the road to supposedly await a front-porch rocking chair visit). But what to do, what to do .... the voters said GET OUT OF IRAQ ... but Bush can NEVER leave Iraq, so to buy time, he set up an Iraq Study Group, known as Baker Hamilton, to recommend what to do in light of the voter's message to GET OUT OF IRAQ. That bought him about a month.
In the meantime, we all sat around our wintery fireplaces and wondered 1) if Baker-Hamilton would be able to recognize that it's time to GET OUT OF IRAQ, and 2) would Bush listen if they did. Surprise, surprise! Bush managed to cherry-pick out of the Baker-Hamilton Report the idea that perhaps the voters weren't exactly saying it's time to GET OUT OF IRAQ .... perhaps what they were really saying was IT'S TIME TO CHANGE COURSE IN IRAQ. When Baker-Hamilton pointed out that doesn't sound right, Bush had Gen Petraeus back him up! Neither Baker nor Hamilton would argue with a goddamn genuine General.
A plan for a surge of tens of thousands of additional combat troops was announced (whatever the original number was, it was later revealed to be more than doubled by the necessary support troops). Voters were confused ... that didn't seem much like a GET OUT OF IRAQ plan. Many democrats and even some republican turncoats were skeptical 1) that this was what the voters voted for, and 2) if such a surge would help or hurt the clusterfuck in Iraq. But one old fellow, the senior Senator Statesmen McCrusty, stood up among the confused elected officials, brushed back his plastered-down strands of hair, opened his corn kernal toothed mouth and proclaimed: My frends, if we want to win in Iraq, why stop at a few thousand surging troops? Why not send in 100,000, or 500,000 or even 1,000,000 surgers? (note this is all my own personal memory, not colored by or watered down by subsequent news coverage) ...
Well by now, we are all familiar with McC's gift for exageration. 100K, 500K, or 1 Million ... they're all just numbers to him. 1-yr, 10-yrs, 100-yrs, 1000-yrs ... time is just another number to him. Economics, inflation, failing banks, home mortgage fiasco ... oh my, ho-hum, more numbers .... BORING. Social Security? He recently admitted he isn't completely clear what Social Security does, but called its premise an "absolute disgrace". Ah, but tax cuts for the wealthy, now those are some serious numbers that McC understands and will fight for.
To me, the gaffes McC makes are worrying symptoms. Very simply, he seems UNFIT TO COMMAND, UNFIT TO LEAD!
A President needs to understand many things. He needs to honestly assess situations and provide thoughtful solutions. For instance, he can't be misunderstanding what constitutes a "surge" (hint: think of a storm surge which rises up & then abates, that is the essence of a surge ... it does NOT stay at flood height forever, it surges & then recedes). He can't be unclear and incoherent about something as serious as war. He can't be implying that if the surge isn't working we need to keep doing it, and if it is working, we need to keep doing it. And furthermore, he can't be saying we began a super-secret surge before the surge (which he mistakenly calls a counterinsurgency, as if by saying a word with surge in it, it means is the same thing).
And yet he is saying all those things ... and more!
We do not need another incoherent president. Eight-years of Bush is enough already! If ever the phrase "No Third Term" applies, it is now! Another Neo-Con at the helm would be crazy!
McCrusty's flatulent proclamations should be met with the same disbelief as Richard Dreyfuss in Close Encounters of the Third Kind.
*** Any resemblance between McC and E.T. is intentional. "E.T. McC go Home!" -- back to your cushy senate cell chamber, thickly padded with 24-yrs of congressional cotton. ps, Watch TV coverage of Obama in Europe today and compare to Senator CheeseDick.